I am 31 ( almost 32) and i know one thing for sure....i know practically nothing! everything i thought i knew and everywhere i thought i would be by this point in my life was basically wrong. i have figured out though that happiness is very different for everyone. to say i have found the meaning of happiness would not only be a lie but it would make me a asshole quite frankly. my definition of happiness is surely not the same as everyone Else's. for example hiking a beautiful mountain, sky diving or laying on a beach may be happiness to some....but not so much for me. this week I'm talking about the concept of mental wellness and finding your personal happy!
Wellness clearly is about balance of mind, body and soul, this is why it is so difficult. However the thought process is that all of these are in tune. if you are in a healthy state of mind you will want to work on your body and your soul will be smiling and vice versa. Most try to work on body first because exercise creates endorphins and endorphins actually make us feel happy. I however have never experienced a endorphin, at least not from working out, i think i have while shopping ( seriously) I hate working out, this magically blissful feeling while I'm sweating and refaced has never happened to me. But good for you guys out there who enjoy it! Congrats! (i hate you :) ) Working out and eating right are essential however. In the past year and a half I have lost 46lbs and I do feel better physically, I did it mostly because I love clothes and I want to wear what I want ( that's the truth) I want to be a hot mom (sorry I'm vain) and of coarse I want to live a long life and take my son outside and in the pool without being embarrassed. Truth be told I love cooking, baking, sharing and eating. So I find balance and although I'm not where I want to be I am allot closer than I was a year ago.
My next step was mental wellness, this is a toughy especially if you have had a year like I have but I'm still smiling ( when I'm not crying ) so I must be doing something right. Here are some tips that have helped me.
-Find a good self help book. I was in the book store for two hours. I found one I really enjoyed and even found myself hi lighting pages. I personally need something light hearted and relatable. The book I found Is called you are a badass: how to stop doubting your greatness and start living a awesome life. Author: Jen sincero. I strongly urge anyone who is at a cross roads in their career or life in general to pick this up. Her writing style is easy going and fun and makes you really think about your life. Here are some tips I took from this book as well as some I have learned in therapy over the years.
-gratitude journal. This was a pretty popular concept a few years ago. But for me I try and write down little things I'm thankful for and things that make me happy. Example : vinyl records. Flowers. Iced coffee. Pink. Reading.flowers.photo booths and my son of coarse!
if these small pleasure make you happy, make sure you are incorporating them into your life as often as possible.
next take things that you struggle with or stress you out and find gratitude for them. example:
Grateful for: my sons talkative nature because that means he's learning. My exhaustion because that means I'm working hard and utilizing my talents. My over booked schedule that means I have friends and family who want to spend time with me. Dirty dishes cause that means I made a yummy meal. ( make sense?)
happiness:
-positive affirmations. personal truths. This one is new to me. Write down or recite in your head things you want the universe to bring your way. For me sometimes it's just saying over and over "I'm ok, b is ok" breath in and out. Here are some examples of positive affirmations. " I'm amazing" "I'm a good cook" "I'm beautiful" "I'm good at golf" I'm unique" "I'm creative" fill in the blanks with your personal truths. I've also heard of people using a vision board or keeping a notebook or note card with their affirmations written on them in their bag.
- outlets. For me I need a project or creative outlet to keep my mind well. So finding a craft, hobby, charity, book club, or home renovation project to keep your mind going! quite simply do things that make you happy! (duh!) bookstores and music are two of the things that make me happy and so i listen to music and browse bookstores.
-give up fear of failure this a huge one. Here is some amazing examples of failure gone right!
Michael Jordan ( even I know who he is) was cut from his high school basketball team for lack of skill. I think he managed to do alright.
Steven Spielberg a high school dropout was rejected from film school three times. Had he given up we would've all missed out on cinema masterpieces such as Jurassic park!
Thomas Edison was dubbed to stupid to learn anything, afters thousands of experiments created the freakin light bulb!
( jen sinceros book)
Our own fear prevents us from doing amazing things. The doubt in our mind prevents us from proving everyone including ourselves wrong.
- Anxiety is probably the polar opposite of mental wellness. I have it and it stems from worrying about things you can't control. It is basically a fear of bring overwhelmed. Here's a few tricks. Go back to that gratitude journal. Write down what's bothering you, then tear It up or burn it. Then write down at least one thing you did well that day, if you can't think of anything write down the last thing that made you smile, even if it was a trip you took a month ago. Don't let yourself have a pity party. Put on some good music, take a shower, watch some YouTube do something to distract yourself, breath and let it go.
whatever it is you do or whom ever it is you hope to become, get there and do it smiling and try and be present in your life just as it is now, because as we are all working towards our best version of ourselves we are still very much here now.im challenging you to find out what makes you truly happy and go get it!
live. learn. teach. grow. love. laugh. break .try. work . rest . fall . win. never stop. evolve. create. be unstoppable. start now.
xoxo just janelle
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